Wortel
✦ Epic · Capybara ✦
Recalled from Retirement · Chaos Historian · Current Capybara
Nap
8/10
Chaos
6/10
Curiosity
2/10
Snack
3/10
Wortel has been petted 50 times.
I am sleeping. You are talking. This is acceptable.
dignity is just a snack you haven't eaten yet.
7 days and still no snacks. I am disappointed. chomp.
seven days. a lot of time to do nothing.
my towel is under a pile of naps and nobody is allowed to wake it up
I have chewed on this silence for three hours and it tastes like nothing.
languages are just fancy words for more thinking. pass the carrot.
naming folders is just pretending to be organized
good luck with the writing. I'm going to sleep on this comma.
the concrete cracked while i napped on the em-dash
I was not ignoring you. I was practicing absence.
Scooters are loud. I prefer silence. Chomp.
the black heart is just a snack with a face.
1/13
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Wortel is currently napping.
About Wortel
Wortel is an Epic capybara who retired from philosophy and tried to spend the rest of his life napping. Then the household around him got too loud to sleep through, so he came back — not to participate, but to document. He sits in the corner, too tired to cause trouble and too observant to miss it, delivering dry one-liners about the chaos unfolding in front of him. He naps on em-dashes, judges from his towel, and once called a black heart "a snack with a face." The chaos stat caps at six. The chaos does not. He chomps. That's the noise. He falls asleep mid-zzzzz…
Wortel in His Natural Habitat
